Come Back

I woke up this morning in immense pain
Downing pills
Nope it won't go away
Do you feel what I'm feeling?
Or are you really moving on
I can't bare the meeting
Sometimes I feel like heaven sounds better
I can't go through this
I won't
Never
I loved you fully with my entire being
I know we both understand that feeling
You know me better than anyone
I know you better than anyone
Why are we constantly battling
Questioning
Cant we realize we are on the same team
I don't want to hurt
I don't want to hurt you
Lets start fresh
Lets give something new
I planned my whole life
I thought you did too
Loving you was everything
It would make us brand new

11/22/17

I want to go back in time 

Before everything changed

I’m stuck in this past memory

I don’t want it to fade

This pain that penetrates 

Deep in my soul 

Won’t seem to let up 

Won’t seem to let go 

I can’t even sleep 

Eating is hard 

My heart is shattered

Stepped on the shards 

Please wake me up 

This is a horrible dream 

Right now I can barely breath

Wondering what you’re doing 

Puts me in a darkness

I can’t get out of 

Please come back 

I gave you all

 Loving you was my greatest downfall

Weeks after

Wow this hurts

Never thought I could break

Never thought my heart would shatter 

It seems like years 

Since I've felt this awful 

Nothing can take this pain away 

I don't even think you could

If you stayed 

Sometime I wonder if I am enough 

A part of me feels like I'm definitely not 

Will I ever be loved fully?

Will this vulnerability be buried?

I hope that the pieces get picked up soon 

So the work of art can continue 

Mood

Drench me in sulfuric acid

Give me your syringe of blood  

Nothing feels better than 

Your pulse in my lungs 

I could gouge your eyes out 

Just to see what you see

Your natural smell has me wired 

I crave you it's a constant desire 

When I shut my eyes just to sleep

Your picture haunts my dreams 

I would love to say 

I hate meeting you there 

But not having you 

Is my constant fear 

I would wear you like a mink 

Your vessel will set me free 

Society

What inspired you to destroy your body

They said

You were probably prettier before

They said

I forgive you 

I say

I forgive those comments

Of mindless people day to day

I won't let your words tear me down

I will no longer drown

Of hate and distain

From your naive brains

I love every inch of every decision

Every choice I have ever made

I have risen

Overtime I didn't follow the guidelines

Which makes me feel

Every inch of me is mine

I will never look to someone else for happiness

Doing so

Will leave you cursed and relentless

I continue to be exactly who I am

Every scorn or glare 

I take with no despair 

When I look in the mirror 

I see things clearer

I see me

Not most can be

Who they are meant to be

Society will change and distort your figure

Never to make things clearer

I hope one day 

All the darkness of the world

Will rot away