Night-terror

I grabbed my stomach screaming

How do I hurt when I'm dreaming

Waking up in a cold sweat

Turning over onto my stuffed pet

I can't believe I lost him in my dreams

I looked around and let out a scream

Is this what happens next in life

Waiting for my heart to be sliced with a knife 

Was it a dream of all dreams

Or a real life scheme 

A tear rolls off my cheek 

I lay down to weep

Stop it I say I'm to young for these fears

quit it as I wipe away my last tear 

I turned on the light 

To kiss you goodnight

Just to realize my fright

was the truth it was right 

Ends

Death

It's so unknown but happens daily

Why are we so afraid but live so freely 

The pain and sorrows we gain 

When a loved one no longer has pain

They are released into some place above

And we grip on to any lasting love

The smiles take weeks to come back

Happiness is something we begin to lack

Grasping around the knowledge of gone

our lives are stuck in sad songs

Now everything becomes a memory

Because you are lost in eternity

Until it's my time to die

I will live with this pain and try not to cry

Because I know your smiling wherever you may be

It's just hard to live on without you, you see 

Friday 3/7

Friday night we rushed you in 

Keeping me from a night of sin

I watched as the chills took you over

Squeezing you into the range rover

They asked for your birth date

Which made you have no wait

Checking all your vitals

Hoping the grim reaper isn't your rival

Trying to find a good vein

 Waiting for the blood to pour like rain

Finally finding a crazy infection 

Admitting you in for further inspection

So many pokes beneath your skin

It's hard on us to take this in

You look at us with sorrowed eyes

Which made me lay my head n cry

Get well they say 

So with that I pray

Pages of this book

What am I doing here

All my thoughts tend to disappear

I am seriously so finished 

But when I try to leave I diminish 

Please wrap your arms around me

Use your eyes to help me see

What you've done to help thee

All I remember is the dark

So try to leave a better mark

Respect respect respect

But actually go fuck yourself 

No other way could my thoughts change

So close the book on this blank 

page

Come back

I knew when you hugged me

You always have loved me

Even  how I treated you

I practically defeated you 

You always make me see

How good you are for me

When I give n take away your pain

Your still the only thing keepin me sane

I'm sorry for my awkward goodbyes

I just dont want you to see me cry

You deserve more than a call or text

So i hope I can have a second yes

Because after so many meaningless hugs

Yours is the only one that fits like a glove 

The puzzle piece to fit n complete

I just want you, no sub-in or repeats 

I love you more than you will see

So please please please come back to me 

Never chosen

I read that text over and over

Putting together pieces of a lying lover

Storming in to throw your shit 

Trying to spare my angry hit

How could you?! I screamed 

My body tearing at the seam

Your response so blank

I just caught you, my heart sank

Tears filling up my eyes

Playing back all your audio lies

Slamming the door on your repeated sorrys

You won't ever have to hide secrets don't worry 

A repeated position I'm constantly in

The other girls always seem to win

Am I not pretty enough for you not to cheat

Or did I deserve these constant repeats 

I guess what needs to change

Is a want for a guy my age

They will always choose

Blonde hair and big boobs

And I will always suffer

From a young mans dishonor 

Dead roses

I've been meaning to say

Our love has died in the storm today

No amount of flowers could bring it back

And I don't have the time for that

I get your sad but please move on

I can't keep tellin you the reasons we are done

You'll find the girl for you I swear

But please let me be in these future years 

Maybe one day when you don't see me as evil

We can sit down and watch clips of evil keneval 

I wish that I didn't have to lose you as a friend

But your heart hasn't decided that our love is at it's end

Your so amazing and don't take what I say too hard

But when ur given a deck you choose the best card