Happiest when it rains

If I wanted you to stay

You would be here

Instead I want you gone

Far far away from me 

Nothing in this world will change it

Nothing in this world will keep it

I want you so far away

That a person couldn't travel to you

You've burned me too much

That this girl is no longer your crutch

I'll disappear like you should

Never to be in your hood

So fuck you 

And fuck them

Your blood runs deep

Deep down a drain

Because I'm only happy when it rains 

2-21-15

This excruciating pain 

leaves me sane

I grew up 

In the nightmare of others

Your hand I thought was to save me

Not push me down to drown 

Every breath I took

I hoped it was my last

Until I saw your face

Now every time 

I fell to drown

I would remember your smile

It would hold me up

I began to give a fuck

the letters love 

Didn't feel like denial

Your hand on my thigh 

Your gaze in my eyes

It all became so real 

When our souls touched 

I felt alive

Now my heart thrives 

Mending

This excruciating pain 

Is you leaving me

Look around for restraint 

But it's time to evaporate 

I wasn't ready for it

This has come too soon

I'm forced to move on

Now that I'm without you

The thoughts are alone

No one to call my own

New one to meet

My heart will defeat 

Melt in my hand

Like a candle almost out

I will love you whole

I cannot live without 

2/4/15

2 am

The cops came

We were fighting too loud again

A glass broke

My heart sank 

All that was left was in smoke

Judging by my eye

You saw the lie 

That "no" he never hit me

Lying through my teeth

To hold onto something so bleak

The officer tried to get me to go

Pictures were taken 

My body was shaken

All I wanted was a hug from the one

Disappointed by my statement

He was left in his basement 

I was driven to the hospital last night

Won't answer his phone

Why do I feel like I was the one

Who swung to break a bone

In the hospital I sat 

Waiting for his laugh

Hour after hour it was a no show

I'm sorry 

I prayed as the doctors rushed me away

His love was my end all

2-2-15

I'm so over stereotypes and opinions 

They always come from the same minions 

Ripping people down

To make themselves feel better

Why can't we just all treat eachother with positivity instead of negativity 

Nobody will be your idea of perfect

No one can fill the void you have

If your happiest moments are when your destroying someone

Then you need to take a look around

I have hated many 

For this exact reason

Take a look in the mirror before you judge

Because your words could take someone to the ledge