07/19

I feel like a part of me has died

It's a weird feeling 

Something I didn't think existed

Have you ever looked at a rose

Right as it bloomed

It's flourishing with colors and smells

Then it dies 

It's still pretty but there is something missing

It's darker

That's how I feel

Why can't things flourish forever

Realizing never say never

That isn't how my story ends

I was the rose that died 

There is no changing what is done 

I'll stay in a blanket

Waiting till my heart can't take it

Then I'll go outside

Take a deep breath

Release this stress

Hopefully having the light come inside

I've lost you

To mourn

No matter what you're mourning

Feel it

Feel the depths in your bones

Do not let this feeling pass

Until you have felt every inch

It may be brutal

You'll survive 

We were created to withstand emotion 

When times are tough

We need to go inside and connect

Recharge with our beating heart

Feel the cold pains

The hot shakes 

Experiencing every black hole 

Till it becomes light

Then the light will show

And you will look in the mirror

Seeing your internal glow

It's very important not to lose yourself

Because that's destruction 

And you're to intricate to be constructed

07/13

I feel suffocated

Like my life is your goal 

I fuckin hate it

Jealousy is your misery

It keeps affecting me

I want to tell you

I want to move on

I just know the conversation won't be fun

I've never felt the respect back

You've always been a little wack

Sometimes I wanna hide and smoke

Till it chokes these thoughts out my throat

Laying everything out 

So you can be the one to pout

Over this constant vibe you give

Let me just  live

I know you won't till your happy

But please stop making me feel crappy

07/01/15

People have spoken

Shared their own thoughts

On the life I'm livin

My question remains

How does my life 

Affect you in some way

It's funny to me

When I hear what they say

That I've changed or I'm weird

How would you know I disappeared 

I don't talk trash on your life goals

I never show my face in your world

Bringing me up in your convos 

You do you 

I'm doing fine thanks tho

I grew up and found who I was 

I'd recommend doing the same

Talk about your life and this age 

But maybe you peaked 

And the past were your days 

I honestly have sympathy

For those who have internal misery

Nothing to share than another's choices

But all you hear are worthless voices 

You're no better than what you speak

Make sure it's not trash 

Or else you will reek

I'm not listening

I now wonder

If I was six feet under

Would they still have hunger

To point out

What I'm all about

To continuously speak

Of some negative repeats

Someone grab a knife

So I can cut open

All the worthless veins 

Of these lying cheating hoes 

Who say my name

I don't talk about you

So worry about what you're up top

I'll talk to you about surface level 

Hoping I won't hear you talk over this treble